DJ JUSTICE
I gotta say, I love me some real astrology from Rob Brezny, he always seems to say just what I need to hear (aye, there's the rub.) but there are times where I wish my perspective on my life was further back so I could see the big picture, and he just writes in a way, where her's like: I know, I know, right now it's tough, but if you keep your head up things will tie up nicely soon. even if it's a sham, it instills a smidge of confidence that was lacking before, a feeling of "this is gonna work out somehow, things will settle, and we can think clearly soon, get the right work done." my brother called me up telling me he was fine and not to worry. he lives in Venice, CA with his wife and babies and they're all kinds of healthy, chompin down on Cali's banquette of fresh produce. The farmer's market where they shop every day was plowed through by some old crazy man, Wilford Brimley on the GTA tip. He was rattled and worried even though nothing happened. there must be no fear like that of a parent. Last night, I managed to meet everyone from Kobe at the bar and not drink (I did have chicken fingers... goddamn it) while we all read our second review in the Creative Loafing, Atlanta's Reader/Voice. amber got a nod which will fill her veins with confetti and balloons. I was not mentioned, but that can be a good thing. the last review focused on me for about a paragraph, glad I made it through the article without being called short or silly voiced. talked to big brother Josh yesterday who set all my fears to rest about the GC. These guys talk about me like I'm the next messiah, and I can't wait to fulfill their expectations. These new beats I'm getting from John have given me the biggest boner to rip this hat trick bitch wide open. I can't wait to not only to take it the next level but just start sounding better and better. like what if we haven't made the song that will really define us yet? there was the shadow of fett over the second album and now it's just like, let's have fun, improvise, fuck around, be ourselves, see what happens, forget the past. Went to Randy's while construction workers dealt with the magically leaking road outside my house. water was just seeping out of the concete, no hole, no visible pipes. who knows what lies beneath us? it filled my toilet with some sort of evil brown rust, blacker than black cauldron black, the way it swirled down in this dark green whirlpool of forboding doom, like in dragon's lair, spooky, but ridiculous. We watched the GC concert on the MTV. I shouted to the TV screen, dont' be so sad! I'm coming. I got mad jokes. I'll cut you down the sides just like DJ Justice. Punch Drunk is out on DVD and I've seen it three times now and I'm shitting my pants over how pitch perfect it is, everything, camera work, sound, acting. amazing. And I was not a PT Fanderson before it came out, nor an Adam Fandler. It's weird. I saw it with my girlfriend when it first came out, thinking I was in love and aint love grand? Seeing it when you're alone makes you think it will happen and it will be easy, an uncontrollable force, it'll be effortless. Life's not like the movies. Tonight we have dress rehearsal for the understudies. I just wanna go home and get lifted after being on the verge of tears over invoices and spreadsheets that couldn't be more greek. you ever get someone's workload cuz they quit and it's not your thing, and your kinda scratching your head with a pencil and those few rules they spit at you before they left are now slipperier than marbles on a waterslide, popping out of your hands, impossible to hold. I was almost crying. Everyone just thinks it's funny. They're all sharpening their knives above my head chanting, "comeuppance, comeuppance, comeuppance!" My only revenge will be this record deal, if it happens. then I can leave, blast out of this cartoon inferno leaving swirling papertrails in my wake. if I end up staying here forever and I never get to tour and I'm doomed to make cartoons the rest of my life, I suppose I will make the most of it just as I have with the cobwebs and birdshit that seem to constantly cover me and my car. I will laugh and shake it off and hope there isn't some angry spider connected (and they get indiana jones big down here.) I'm feeling ok, but kinda spent, like I've seen too much death and decay, too much destruction, I've stopped feeling anything. I'm used to the gray clouds, it's this silver lining I keep hearing about that horrifies me. What will I do when there's only the sun and the swaying dandelions beneath it? xomc