that creepy amulet found beneath the floorboards
I think I might sign a lease today. The place looks pretty shitty from the outside. David Lynch wouldn't even film his exteriors there. Too drab for even him. And I caught him sizing the place up with that zoom lens thingy, and he was like, "No siree betty, not gonna do the trick. we need a place with more zip!" The color is like faded yellow with the paint chipping, although in memory I see pink, a dark weathered pink. It's on the first floor, big selling point. no more stairs. no more puking on stairs. no more being around puke stain on stairs that i never told anyone about, I'm sure though, that everyone guessed the secret behind the dark patch of carpet right by the door. The main room where the living is done, is huge, big selling point. I could split it into two rooms, one part office, one part "let's make out here." the bed room's a nice size and the the bathrooms is clean and has new fixtures. the kitchen is one of those hot pocket kitchens where that's all you'll be making. the stove is the size of a tic tac container and there's no room to breakdance, which is how i like my kitchens. lots of closet space for me to hide mistresses in. it's a chateau beyond compare and i can't wait to not climb up that hill or hear those birds, or see those roaches, feel them descending down my tongue in whisky fueled nightmares. no, that's all over. now i just have to deal with the reactions of my friends who, I have a feeling, will nod a lot before they say, "it's nice for one person." xomc